[The first week has it's highs and lows. Boundaries are absolutely a work in progress. Matt has to remind himself to be completely up front with intentions. The alarm means that he has to wake up which means that he has to leave and unfortunately Laura will be by herself.
And because she is by herself he has devoted off time to finding objects and activities that can stimulate her as well as teach her practical things. The modern remedy is put her in front of a screen. Well. Matt does not have a television. The laptop he does have is specially equip for him and for work. Something about that level of neglect to not even consider what media she is consuming...that feels wrong.
The month ends out with minimal damage and just one explosive fight. Their disagreements are usually a result of misunderstanding. Matt's mastery of the Spanish language is constantly put to the test as well as his patience. Though he knew that this was not going to be an easy task. Walking away from her, that would be wrong on so many levels.]
Hello?
[Stepping into the apartment, making sure to announce himself.]
[ Boundaries are things she is learning about. She doesn't like them, but apparently everyone out here in the world does. They all have them. And rules. The rules are very different from where she comes from. Some are less strict, and others, more.
It's frustrating because there is a lot she doesn't know, and living here with Matthew comes with many more things to learn.
She has yet to explain about how she is different yet, at least not more than he has already guessed. She's not sure how to. Will it frighten him? She doesn't want him to be afraid of her. Laura had gone outside earlier with one of the books she had picked out from a store. Her English is not very good, but she is trying to learn. This book has both things. ]
I am here.
[ Said from the couch where she is sitting. Not far from her are small attempts to make a card with an apology on it. She may have borrowed the label maker to help her with the braille, and used a pencil to try and indent the paper for him.
Early on, when she was first here, he had startled her badly and then apologized. She didn't understand why it was important. She still doesn't, not fully, but if it is important to do, then she will try. Maybe it will help the funny feeling in her stomach at making him upset. ]
[Integrating English in small ways has been an objective. Matt has been trying to instill the concept of goals with Laura. Knowing English is helpful. It is not easy. And it is going to take time and patience. Small steps. They might have left while things were tense in the morning, Matt is deliberate with his movements coming back into the apartment. His bag rests on the hook at the door. Coat as well.]
How was your day today?
[Sometimes that's about the end of the language practice. As long as there's an effort. He can hear paper move. So at least she hasn't destroyed something out of anger. At least nothing as far as he can tell. Matt loosens his tie, rests the cane by the corner closest to the door.]
[ It is difficult, but the book helps. It is a little too big for her hands, but it has many words in it. She has other books she reads as well, but later. They are for math and science. ]
It was---okay. And yours?
[ She stumbles a little over the last word in English then switches back, and while Matt is getting out of his tie, and settling in, she closes her book to put it on the coffee table. After she does that, she leans over to get the folded, colored paper that she wrote on, and hangs over the back of the couch a little. ]
This is for you.
[ Laura waves the paper a little so he can hear it better. ]
[On better days, if she allows, he reads to her something out of a book he owns. He lets Laura pick. Of course Matt has his bible. There are also books of poetry or some of the classics. Law books of course though thus far she hasn't taken an actual interest. Having her sit and listen to the written word while she gets comfortable with it enough for Laura to read to Matt in return.]
My day was okay too.
[Complete with very adult sigh. He steps to the back of the couch and reaches for it.]
Mail?
[No. And he knows that by touching the kind of paper. It's more like construction paper. Matt holds it with one hand and has his right hand touch over the paper carefully.]
[ She likes those days. She likes the sound of his voice, and has, at times, fallen asleep tucked against his side as he reads. She likes being able to pick what they read, and she likes the ones he calls poems. ]
Not mail. For you. Because of earlier.
[ She picks at the fabric at the back of the couch, and sighs. She knows her indentations were not the best, and some of them went through. It very simply spells: I'm sorry in braille.
[His fingers trace over the indentations. The placement is right at least, he can't get her for that. Matt blinks and he carefully lifts up the paper to hold it to his chest. Eyes stay down, listening to where the girl breathes.]
I'm sorry too. You are trying all the time. And everybody makes mistakes. Everyone on this whole planet.
[ She watches as he runs his fingers over the paper to read it. Her heart does a funny thing in her chest, worry overtaking her for a moment when he says nothing. Then he's holding the paper close to his chest, and she thinks she might smell salt in the air. Was it not right? ]
I do not like making them, or making you upset.
[ Not because she is scared of how he would react. But because she doesn't want to disappoint him. It's a new feeling to worry over. ]
I don't like making them either. [He still gently holds the paper and blinks behind his glasses.] I overreacted and that was a mistake. I should not have shouted at you.
[How was she supposed to know the significance of the silk robe or why it was kept tucked away in the trunk? Having any of that touched already made him go into a panic.]
Because I know now that people are looking for you, I don't think that you should go out alone. And if you do at least let me know when. If something goes wrong I can find you or be aware and help you.
[ It is strange to think, despite their argument and yelling earlier, that Matt makes many mistakes. He does everything so meticulously and careful. Mistakes seem like something she should make, because she does not know things. ] It is not that bad.
[ She's had worse than being yelled at. She doesn't particularly understand why he should apologize for it. She had taken something that wasn't hers, does that not warrant upset? ]
I will be careful. If I go out without you, I will let you know, but I will wait if it worries you.
[ His small smile eases that feeling in her stomach again. There she goes, fiddling with a string on the edge of the sofa cushion. ]
[Being aware of her conditioning and penchant to simply continue on as she had learned in the emotional department make conversations all the more significant if Matt is to fancy himself to be a teacher. Yes, Laura could handle more. No he won't downplay is transgressions.]
Perhaps. Not that good either.
[She is the child and Matthew is the adult. He should manage his responses better than yelling.]
Thank you. It will make me feel better knowing that you're being smart and safe. I like you, Laura. I don't want harm to come to you or for someone to take you away.
[Which is why the dread hit him so hard and fast.]
Yes. Yes we still can. Was there something you had in mind?
[ At the place she came from, they would not have apologized. They had no reason to. But that is not the right thing to do. Matt apologizes because it is. ]
People do different things when they are scared.
[ Instead of hopping off the couch and going around, Laura decides to climb over the back, and onto the hardwood floor. ]
I can do that. [ But she will not let anyone take her away from him, or hurt him. She likes staying with him. It's nice here. ]
[And while there are going to be multiple moments where they won't make sense to Laura, Matt will still proceed with dignity, grace and understanding. Leading by example and answering questions as they go have worked so far.]
Yes, they do. It's an automatic response in some cases.
[Like losing your shit a bit. Matt smiles at her.]
That sounds perfect. I'm getting hungry. Are you?
[He puts his hand on her shoulder. The other is still holding the paper to his chest. At least until he can put it on the refrigerator.]
[ That is a hard thing about being out here in the world and learning about it. Just when she thinks she knows some things, other things happen and she doesn't understand. She knows about fear, though.
When she feels Matt's hand on her shoulder, her own smaller one reaches up to thread their fingers together, even if its in brief. She knows they'll need them free when they start to cook things. ]
I'm hungry!
[ She's always hungry. Well, more often than not. ]
[And when these new concepts come up, Matt does his best to be encouraging. These shouldn't be roadblocks. Just challenges. Laura is bright. Her awareness of the world is limited, yes. That doesn't mean that she isn't adapting. That alone is such a skill in any person. For a child with what he knows of her history, being adventurous and cautious are the very best he can hope for some days.
Hand in hand for a moment makes him reflect on that day at the park. They're still going strong.]
Food it is.
[Actually that was the only idea he had. They're both very hungry people.]
I'm going to take out some vegetables. Can you cut them into small pieces? The knife is going to be sharper, be careful.
[She was successful with a butter knife the times before with finger sandwiches. And wanting to help means more responsibilities. Matt gently tugs her hand and leads her to the kitchen. To the fridge first because he wants to display the picture. One well placed magnet--checking to ensure that it's the right way up too--and it's fixed into place.]
[ In some ways being here is more challenging than the place she came from. They had very simple wants for them there. They were not good, but they were simple. Here it is complicated. She likes that some days. Days like this morning are more frustrating for her.
She's glad he's there to help her learn the right ways to do things. ]
I can. I will be careful.
[ Though, she doesn't have to be. She beams a little when the paper goes up on the fridge where it is in view, at least to her. But that means he wants it there so he can find it easily, like the take out menu. That is a good thing.
She climbs up on a stool so that she can reach the countertop, and when Matt gives her the vegetables, she starts to carefully cut them up. She's doing well, until she's distracted by a loud noise outside and the knife slips, cutting two of her fingers. She barely even flinches, but she pulls away, unsure of how to hide the problem.
She hasn't told him about her powers yet. She doesn't know what he will think of it. ]
[Having it posted up as a means of appreciation as well as acknowledgement on both side that they had done wrong and are moving past it. No, things aren't simple. And Matt wishes there were ways to make this process easier. He isn't even sure of what to call it if he were honest. Laura is and always has been a person. She's learning how to do it with other people and learning things like manners, dignity, respect and other things that she was denied.
Matt is getting rice ready and he pauses. The chopping has stopped and his head tilts. Blood is in the air.]
Laura--?
[He turns and comes forward.]
Are you okay?
[Not a sound out of her. He has been thrown out of a window and would still have made a sound of surprise. Matt grabs a towel and wets it.]
[ She has endured much worse things than falling out of a window. She has inflicted worse upon herself in her fits when she began to get older, at least until Gabriella stopped her. Told her that it was not good to do. ]
It is fine. It's fine.
[ She pulls her hand back towards her body. It's already healed, but the blood is still there. It had been deep enough that there are drops on her clothes now. She knows he can't see it, but he can smell it. It makes her heart beat fast because she doesn't know how to hide this or how he will react to it.
It is not the same as the other things. She is not even the same as he is. She knows this. ]
[The concept of a heightened pain threshold or even being unaware of what pain is given that was state perpetually inflicted on her hasn't even crossed Matt's mind. The agility and strength, that's enough. Did they really have to burden children with more?]
Is it?
[Brow furrowed and still coming closer even though he can see that she is tensing and on the defensive.]
I want to know if you're okay. You're not in trouble.
[ She has felt pain, but it has to be at a much higher level than simply a cut while helping to cook. The feeling in her chest hurts more than her hand did, even in brief. She is worried. It makes her stomach feel heavy like before she apologized. ]
Si.
[ Firm and a little snappish. She doesn't know what to do to make the strange feeling that his concern causes to stop. He has not been unkind to her yet. Not even knowing she was already different. Does that mean it will stay this way now? She doesn't know. ]
It is not like the things we share. [ She doesn't know the right words. She settles for offering her hand out, enough blood drying stickily that he would tell that it was a sizable cut. ]
[Her temper is just another element that makes everything more complicated. Matt is matched there. And while it would not do well to just be pissed off he clenches his teeth and steps closer. Cloth still in his hand as he takes a hold of her wrist. No yanking or pulling.
There is not a twitch or tremble in her hand. And while the blood smell is fresh it is not expanding or oxidizing. Matt blinks slowly, dabbing at the wound area. The skin is one piece, no flap and nothing that would have made her hiss if it smarted.]
[ At least she's well past the stage of incoherent shouts at this point. Though, some days, it's close. She doesn't try to tug her wrist out of his grip as he begins to clean her hand off.
Her lips press together in a thin line as the red clears away to reveal perfectly intact skin. Pink and unmarred, as if it never happened. ]
[Repeating and trying to still understand. A small cut made in a moment and now it's gone. If it weren't for the blood there'd be no proof whatsoever. Matt still holds her hand and is reminded of the weight there.]
Can you please tell me if there is something else I don't know.
[ That feeling in her stomach isn't going away. She knows he isn't angry, she would smell it. Hear it. He's confused. But confusion can lead to fear and she does not want him to be afraid of her.
She pats at his hand to encourage him to move it down, away from her knuckles. His body is far enough away and at a different angle that she can extend the claws of her hand without risking hurting him. ]
Do not move yet. Careful. Stay still.
[ Her reflexes are fast enough that she can get distance without hurting him, but she does not want to risk that. Slowly, she extends the claws of her hand to their full length. ]
[This really was not what he was expecting. Laura was a girl with secrets. And her life was starting over. Muddling the now with so much of the then and deciding on a new path, that was the objective. Matt still had so much more to understand about who she is. About what she is. Yes, a child and a refugee. There is still more.
He's at attention and listens to her verbal and non verbal cues. Brow furrowing deeper he listens, really listens and tries to comprehend what that noise is. It's nothing like he's heard before. See, a blade gives away to skin and yet it is never from inside.]
Laura--[Though he's not sure what he wants to say.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And because she is by herself he has devoted off time to finding objects and activities that can stimulate her as well as teach her practical things. The modern remedy is put her in front of a screen. Well. Matt does not have a television. The laptop he does have is specially equip for him and for work. Something about that level of neglect to not even consider what media she is consuming...that feels wrong.
The month ends out with minimal damage and just one explosive fight. Their disagreements are usually a result of misunderstanding. Matt's mastery of the Spanish language is constantly put to the test as well as his patience. Though he knew that this was not going to be an easy task. Walking away from her, that would be wrong on so many levels.]
Hello?
[Stepping into the apartment, making sure to announce himself.]
no subject
It's frustrating because there is a lot she doesn't know, and living here with Matthew comes with many more things to learn.
She has yet to explain about how she is different yet, at least not more than he has already guessed. She's not sure how to. Will it frighten him? She doesn't want him to be afraid of her. Laura had gone outside earlier with one of the books she had picked out from a store. Her English is not very good, but she is trying to learn. This book has both things. ]
I am here.
[ Said from the couch where she is sitting. Not far from her are small attempts to make a card with an apology on it. She may have borrowed the label maker to help her with the braille, and used a pencil to try and indent the paper for him.
Early on, when she was first here, he had startled her badly and then apologized. She didn't understand why it was important. She still doesn't, not fully, but if it is important to do, then she will try. Maybe it will help the funny feeling in her stomach at making him upset. ]
no subject
How was your day today?
[Sometimes that's about the end of the language practice. As long as there's an effort. He can hear paper move. So at least she hasn't destroyed something out of anger. At least nothing as far as he can tell. Matt loosens his tie, rests the cane by the corner closest to the door.]
no subject
It was---okay. And yours?
[ She stumbles a little over the last word in English then switches back, and while Matt is getting out of his tie, and settling in, she closes her book to put it on the coffee table. After she does that, she leans over to get the folded, colored paper that she wrote on, and hangs over the back of the couch a little. ]
This is for you.
[ Laura waves the paper a little so he can hear it better. ]
no subject
My day was okay too.
[Complete with very adult sigh. He steps to the back of the couch and reaches for it.]
Mail?
[No. And he knows that by touching the kind of paper. It's more like construction paper. Matt holds it with one hand and has his right hand touch over the paper carefully.]
no subject
Not mail. For you. Because of earlier.
[ She picks at the fabric at the back of the couch, and sighs. She knows her indentations were not the best, and some of them went through. It very simply spells: I'm sorry in braille.
At least, the best she could manage in it. ]
no subject
I'm sorry too. You are trying all the time. And everybody makes mistakes. Everyone on this whole planet.
[He crouches.]
Is it okay if we talk about it?
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I do not like making them, or making you upset.
[ Not because she is scared of how he would react. But because she doesn't want to disappoint him. It's a new feeling to worry over. ]
It's okay to talk.
no subject
[How was she supposed to know the significance of the silk robe or why it was kept tucked away in the trunk? Having any of that touched already made him go into a panic.]
Because I know now that people are looking for you, I don't think that you should go out alone. And if you do at least let me know when. If something goes wrong I can find you or be aware and help you.
[Not wanting him upset. He smiles just a little.]
I'm sorry too.
no subject
[ She's had worse than being yelled at. She doesn't particularly understand why he should apologize for it. She had taken something that wasn't hers, does that not warrant upset? ]
I will be careful. If I go out without you, I will let you know, but I will wait if it worries you.
[ His small smile eases that feeling in her stomach again. There she goes, fiddling with a string on the edge of the sofa cushion. ]
We can still make things tonight?
no subject
Perhaps. Not that good either.
[She is the child and Matthew is the adult. He should manage his responses better than yelling.]
Thank you. It will make me feel better knowing that you're being smart and safe. I like you, Laura. I don't want harm to come to you or for someone to take you away.
[Which is why the dread hit him so hard and fast.]
Yes. Yes we still can. Was there something you had in mind?
no subject
People do different things when they are scared.
[ Instead of hopping off the couch and going around, Laura decides to climb over the back, and onto the hardwood floor. ]
I can do that. [ But she will not let anyone take her away from him, or hurt him. She likes staying with him. It's nice here. ]
The stir-fry you were talking about before?
no subject
Yes, they do. It's an automatic response in some cases.
[Like losing your shit a bit. Matt smiles at her.]
That sounds perfect. I'm getting hungry. Are you?
[He puts his hand on her shoulder. The other is still holding the paper to his chest. At least until he can put it on the refrigerator.]
no subject
When she feels Matt's hand on her shoulder, her own smaller one reaches up to thread their fingers together, even if its in brief. She knows they'll need them free when they start to cook things. ]
I'm hungry!
[ She's always hungry. Well, more often than not. ]
What can I do to help?
no subject
Hand in hand for a moment makes him reflect on that day at the park. They're still going strong.]
Food it is.
[Actually that was the only idea he had. They're both very hungry people.]
I'm going to take out some vegetables. Can you cut them into small pieces? The knife is going to be sharper, be careful.
[She was successful with a butter knife the times before with finger sandwiches. And wanting to help means more responsibilities. Matt gently tugs her hand and leads her to the kitchen. To the fridge first because he wants to display the picture. One well placed magnet--checking to ensure that it's the right way up too--and it's fixed into place.]
no subject
She's glad he's there to help her learn the right ways to do things. ]
I can. I will be careful.
[ Though, she doesn't have to be. She beams a little when the paper goes up on the fridge where it is in view, at least to her. But that means he wants it there so he can find it easily, like the take out menu. That is a good thing.
She climbs up on a stool so that she can reach the countertop, and when Matt gives her the vegetables, she starts to carefully cut them up. She's doing well, until she's distracted by a loud noise outside and the knife slips, cutting two of her fingers. She barely even flinches, but she pulls away, unsure of how to hide the problem.
She hasn't told him about her powers yet. She doesn't know what he will think of it. ]
no subject
Matt is getting rice ready and he pauses. The chopping has stopped and his head tilts. Blood is in the air.]
Laura--?
[He turns and comes forward.]
Are you okay?
[Not a sound out of her. He has been thrown out of a window and would still have made a sound of surprise. Matt grabs a towel and wets it.]
Let me. Is it deep?
[Is she in shock??]
no subject
It is fine. It's fine.
[ She pulls her hand back towards her body. It's already healed, but the blood is still there. It had been deep enough that there are drops on her clothes now. She knows he can't see it, but he can smell it. It makes her heart beat fast because she doesn't know how to hide this or how he will react to it.
It is not the same as the other things. She is not even the same as he is. She knows this. ]
No.
no subject
Is it?
[Brow furrowed and still coming closer even though he can see that she is tensing and on the defensive.]
I want to know if you're okay. You're not in trouble.
no subject
Si.
[ Firm and a little snappish. She doesn't know what to do to make the strange feeling that his concern causes to stop. He has not been unkind to her yet. Not even knowing she was already different. Does that mean it will stay this way now? She doesn't know. ]
It is not like the things we share. [ She doesn't know the right words. She settles for offering her hand out, enough blood drying stickily that he would tell that it was a sizable cut. ]
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There is not a twitch or tremble in her hand. And while the blood smell is fresh it is not expanding or oxidizing. Matt blinks slowly, dabbing at the wound area. The skin is one piece, no flap and nothing that would have made her hiss if it smarted.]
...it's gone?
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Her lips press together in a thin line as the red clears away to reveal perfectly intact skin. Pink and unmarred, as if it never happened. ]
I heal.
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[Repeating and trying to still understand. A small cut made in a moment and now it's gone. If it weren't for the blood there'd be no proof whatsoever. Matt still holds her hand and is reminded of the weight there.]
Can you please tell me if there is something else I don't know.
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[ That feeling in her stomach isn't going away. She knows he isn't angry, she would smell it. Hear it. He's confused. But confusion can lead to fear and she does not want him to be afraid of her.
She pats at his hand to encourage him to move it down, away from her knuckles. His body is far enough away and at a different angle that she can extend the claws of her hand without risking hurting him. ]
Do not move yet. Careful. Stay still.
[ Her reflexes are fast enough that she can get distance without hurting him, but she does not want to risk that. Slowly, she extends the claws of her hand to their full length. ]
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He's at attention and listens to her verbal and non verbal cues. Brow furrowing deeper he listens, really listens and tries to comprehend what that noise is. It's nothing like he's heard before. See, a blade gives away to skin and yet it is never from inside.]
Laura--[Though he's not sure what he wants to say.]
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