[ Laura isn't one to simply stop and sight see in any way. She does get curious sometimes, though, about different things. Curious about people. About the small groups, families. She's heard the word, but she doesn't know what it means.
She can tell that he's checking the area in his own way. Listening. Scenting the air. If there had been people watching or following, she would not be there. It would be too dangerous for both of them. This man is nice. She does not want what happened to Gabriella to happen to him.
Laura walks up to him, tilting her head when he asks that, and mutters a quick yes before offering up her arm. ]
[Danger or not, he would have come. Matt said he would. And he knows the weight of promises. If he wanted her trust he shouldn't break it in the first damn day.
Matt gently touches her arm and taps his cane. Just the right tableau. And away they go. Through the part. As she moves there is a hardly audible noise he can't place and a heaviness to her limbs that he never would have expected. What...is that? Is that metal?]
You've eaten enough for the night?
[He could get some groceries delivered if needed be. It's very clear the appetites are not the same.
[ Laura would not have wanted him to. She would have run far away. Far enough that they would not find the nice man with the stick and the dark glasses.
She likes this, the way they walk through the park together. It is nice. Like the little families, she thinks. If he were to ask about the sound, she'd tell him that it is metal. It's what they did to her at the place with the people who hurt her. ]
I finished my food from earlier.
[ It is enough. She is usually hungry. It's just the way her body is. She ends up more hungry if she heals more from injuries. She has not done that today, but she still feels more hungry than she thinks most other people do. ]
[He has to think up what would the best actions be if there was a scenario that this little partnership became threatened. It's on the growing list of things to do as he makes room for Laura in his life.
They find a stride and walk along with ease. Matt isn't trying to smile. He just does.]
Good. I have food in my home. I'm not sure you would like it. It will get better.
[Given her previous choices.
She isn't a girl of many words. He guesses that means she is observing. Possibly lost in thought.]
Is there anything I should know about? Is there anything that scares you besides those men?
[Sounds. Smells. Maybe scare isn't the right word. Matt licks his lips.]
I want to know if anything new makes you uncomfortable so I can help you adapt.
[ Laura looks up at him briefly, and the smile he has on his face makes her feel a little more at ease as they go along. She wonders, again, why he is helping her. Is it just because this is what people do when they are not bad? ]
I will eat anything.
[ It doesn't bother her. This is the first time she's been able to choose her meals, but it won't be a struggle if she has to stop. ]
I do not like to be startled.
[ It's partly why she is so cautious, and why she reacted so poorly the first night she met Matt. ]
What is---uncomfortable?
[ These aren't things that were taken into consideration with her or her friends before. She doesn't understand why it is pertinent now. ]
[In time Matt will find that there is so much to explain. For now he is catching glimpses of her personality in how she answers. Practical, very practical.]
Yes, well, you should enjoy what you it now and then.
[No surprises. He nods.]
I don't enjoy being startled either.
[It happens. Keen awareness does make one miss details. This is not a question he expected to answer. His brow furrows a little with thought.]
Uncomfortable is... this unsettled feeling. Sometimes it can be intense and unbearable like pain. Or small like an irritation.
[ Dr. Rice had very little room for personality in his tests. They were tools to be used. Test subjects. Weapons. Nothing more. She has found things that she is curious about in the world, but she has not attempted to do much with them. Children her size with toys of varying kinds, like her ball, and pages that they can put different colors on. ]
That is what the man in the shop said. He always tells me to pick something sweet.
[ Surprises, in her case, can be very dangerous. People have found this out in different ways, mostly the Reavers, when they pushed her in ways that she did not like.
She lets Matt explain what he means to her, and her brow furrows a little in thought. They expected them to do as they were told. To suffer without complaint. ]
They did not care about this in the place that I come from, but I will try.
[No ominous message or resentment, not even a warning. Matt's voice stays warm and matter of fact. He suspects that there will be many moments where he will have to shelf his anger and resentment for the people Laura met before. She is not a puzzle or a problem to be solved or fixed. She is a child.
The clergy at St. Agnes would often say that Matthew was a test to them all. Perhaps he was preparing himself to be on the otherside. He gently guides them down a street once they clear the park.]
Thank you. Though think about it as helping me understand you best. How you feel, how you think, that's important to me.
[Never did they tell the children at the orphanage that they were abandoned or damaged anymore than what they were aware of. It was about building them back up. Matthew, you've got work to do. ]
[ Laura likes how his voice sounds, the warmth to it. It makes her think of Gabriella and the other nurses. Some of the songs she would hear sung late when the doctors and the Reavers were not there to yell at them for it. ]
Well, now is a good time to figure out which ones you do like.
[Not just bodega offered foods. Maybe he can get her to enjoy strawberries and whipped cream or a frozen yogurt. Cupcakes from a local bakery. There's so much more than packaged foods.
Matt senses them approaching a crosswalk and slows. The light is red, he elbows the button to cross.]
It's important because those reactions are a part of you. You are important. Now, maybe they might have told you that you were for reasons that benefit them. Those reasons are wrong. You're important because there is only one of you. No one else in the world thinks like you do, feels like you do or acts like you do. You are your own person.
[Is he getting too deep too fast on her? These are all good questions. She needs to be reassured and Matt can tell it won't be like reassuring a typical child. Laura isn't worried about boogeymen or monsters.]
[ She's always hungry. She'd try anything he gave her, honestly. She watches him press the button. She knows what that means at least. ]
They did not think that we were important anymore. That is why we had to run.
[ She ponders what he's saying for a few quiet moments, and sighs. She's not really sure what to do with all of this new information. ] I want to be that. My own person.
[The first week has it's highs and lows. Boundaries are absolutely a work in progress. Matt has to remind himself to be completely up front with intentions. The alarm means that he has to wake up which means that he has to leave and unfortunately Laura will be by herself.
And because she is by herself he has devoted off time to finding objects and activities that can stimulate her as well as teach her practical things. The modern remedy is put her in front of a screen. Well. Matt does not have a television. The laptop he does have is specially equip for him and for work. Something about that level of neglect to not even consider what media she is consuming...that feels wrong.
The month ends out with minimal damage and just one explosive fight. Their disagreements are usually a result of misunderstanding. Matt's mastery of the Spanish language is constantly put to the test as well as his patience. Though he knew that this was not going to be an easy task. Walking away from her, that would be wrong on so many levels.]
Hello?
[Stepping into the apartment, making sure to announce himself.]
[ Boundaries are things she is learning about. She doesn't like them, but apparently everyone out here in the world does. They all have them. And rules. The rules are very different from where she comes from. Some are less strict, and others, more.
It's frustrating because there is a lot she doesn't know, and living here with Matthew comes with many more things to learn.
She has yet to explain about how she is different yet, at least not more than he has already guessed. She's not sure how to. Will it frighten him? She doesn't want him to be afraid of her. Laura had gone outside earlier with one of the books she had picked out from a store. Her English is not very good, but she is trying to learn. This book has both things. ]
I am here.
[ Said from the couch where she is sitting. Not far from her are small attempts to make a card with an apology on it. She may have borrowed the label maker to help her with the braille, and used a pencil to try and indent the paper for him.
Early on, when she was first here, he had startled her badly and then apologized. She didn't understand why it was important. She still doesn't, not fully, but if it is important to do, then she will try. Maybe it will help the funny feeling in her stomach at making him upset. ]
[Integrating English in small ways has been an objective. Matt has been trying to instill the concept of goals with Laura. Knowing English is helpful. It is not easy. And it is going to take time and patience. Small steps. They might have left while things were tense in the morning, Matt is deliberate with his movements coming back into the apartment. His bag rests on the hook at the door. Coat as well.]
How was your day today?
[Sometimes that's about the end of the language practice. As long as there's an effort. He can hear paper move. So at least she hasn't destroyed something out of anger. At least nothing as far as he can tell. Matt loosens his tie, rests the cane by the corner closest to the door.]
[ It is difficult, but the book helps. It is a little too big for her hands, but it has many words in it. She has other books she reads as well, but later. They are for math and science. ]
It was---okay. And yours?
[ She stumbles a little over the last word in English then switches back, and while Matt is getting out of his tie, and settling in, she closes her book to put it on the coffee table. After she does that, she leans over to get the folded, colored paper that she wrote on, and hangs over the back of the couch a little. ]
This is for you.
[ Laura waves the paper a little so he can hear it better. ]
[On better days, if she allows, he reads to her something out of a book he owns. He lets Laura pick. Of course Matt has his bible. There are also books of poetry or some of the classics. Law books of course though thus far she hasn't taken an actual interest. Having her sit and listen to the written word while she gets comfortable with it enough for Laura to read to Matt in return.]
My day was okay too.
[Complete with very adult sigh. He steps to the back of the couch and reaches for it.]
Mail?
[No. And he knows that by touching the kind of paper. It's more like construction paper. Matt holds it with one hand and has his right hand touch over the paper carefully.]
[ She likes those days. She likes the sound of his voice, and has, at times, fallen asleep tucked against his side as he reads. She likes being able to pick what they read, and she likes the ones he calls poems. ]
Not mail. For you. Because of earlier.
[ She picks at the fabric at the back of the couch, and sighs. She knows her indentations were not the best, and some of them went through. It very simply spells: I'm sorry in braille.
[His fingers trace over the indentations. The placement is right at least, he can't get her for that. Matt blinks and he carefully lifts up the paper to hold it to his chest. Eyes stay down, listening to where the girl breathes.]
I'm sorry too. You are trying all the time. And everybody makes mistakes. Everyone on this whole planet.
[ She watches as he runs his fingers over the paper to read it. Her heart does a funny thing in her chest, worry overtaking her for a moment when he says nothing. Then he's holding the paper close to his chest, and she thinks she might smell salt in the air. Was it not right? ]
I do not like making them, or making you upset.
[ Not because she is scared of how he would react. But because she doesn't want to disappoint him. It's a new feeling to worry over. ]
I don't like making them either. [He still gently holds the paper and blinks behind his glasses.] I overreacted and that was a mistake. I should not have shouted at you.
[How was she supposed to know the significance of the silk robe or why it was kept tucked away in the trunk? Having any of that touched already made him go into a panic.]
Because I know now that people are looking for you, I don't think that you should go out alone. And if you do at least let me know when. If something goes wrong I can find you or be aware and help you.
[ It is strange to think, despite their argument and yelling earlier, that Matt makes many mistakes. He does everything so meticulously and careful. Mistakes seem like something she should make, because she does not know things. ] It is not that bad.
[ She's had worse than being yelled at. She doesn't particularly understand why he should apologize for it. She had taken something that wasn't hers, does that not warrant upset? ]
I will be careful. If I go out without you, I will let you know, but I will wait if it worries you.
[ His small smile eases that feeling in her stomach again. There she goes, fiddling with a string on the edge of the sofa cushion. ]
[Being aware of her conditioning and penchant to simply continue on as she had learned in the emotional department make conversations all the more significant if Matt is to fancy himself to be a teacher. Yes, Laura could handle more. No he won't downplay is transgressions.]
Perhaps. Not that good either.
[She is the child and Matthew is the adult. He should manage his responses better than yelling.]
Thank you. It will make me feel better knowing that you're being smart and safe. I like you, Laura. I don't want harm to come to you or for someone to take you away.
[Which is why the dread hit him so hard and fast.]
Yes. Yes we still can. Was there something you had in mind?
[ At the place she came from, they would not have apologized. They had no reason to. But that is not the right thing to do. Matt apologizes because it is. ]
People do different things when they are scared.
[ Instead of hopping off the couch and going around, Laura decides to climb over the back, and onto the hardwood floor. ]
I can do that. [ But she will not let anyone take her away from him, or hurt him. She likes staying with him. It's nice here. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She can tell that he's checking the area in his own way. Listening. Scenting the air. If there had been people watching or following, she would not be there. It would be too dangerous for both of them. This man is nice. She does not want what happened to Gabriella to happen to him.
Laura walks up to him, tilting her head when he asks that, and mutters a quick yes before offering up her arm. ]
It is on your right, just below your arm now.
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Matt gently touches her arm and taps his cane. Just the right tableau. And away they go. Through the part. As she moves there is a hardly audible noise he can't place and a heaviness to her limbs that he never would have expected. What...is that? Is that metal?]
You've eaten enough for the night?
[He could get some groceries delivered if needed be. It's very clear the appetites are not the same.
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She likes this, the way they walk through the park together. It is nice. Like the little families, she thinks. If he were to ask about the sound, she'd tell him that it is metal. It's what they did to her at the place with the people who hurt her. ]
I finished my food from earlier.
[ It is enough. She is usually hungry. It's just the way her body is. She ends up more hungry if she heals more from injuries. She has not done that today, but she still feels more hungry than she thinks most other people do. ]
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They find a stride and walk along with ease. Matt isn't trying to smile. He just does.]
Good. I have food in my home. I'm not sure you would like it. It will get better.
[Given her previous choices.
She isn't a girl of many words. He guesses that means she is observing. Possibly lost in thought.]
Is there anything I should know about? Is there anything that scares you besides those men?
[Sounds. Smells. Maybe scare isn't the right word. Matt licks his lips.]
I want to know if anything new makes you uncomfortable so I can help you adapt.
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I will eat anything.
[ It doesn't bother her. This is the first time she's been able to choose her meals, but it won't be a struggle if she has to stop. ]
I do not like to be startled.
[ It's partly why she is so cautious, and why she reacted so poorly the first night she met Matt. ]
What is---uncomfortable?
[ These aren't things that were taken into consideration with her or her friends before. She doesn't understand why it is pertinent now. ]
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Yes, well, you should enjoy what you it now and then.
[No surprises. He nods.]
I don't enjoy being startled either.
[It happens. Keen awareness does make one miss details. This is not a question he expected to answer. His brow furrows a little with thought.]
Uncomfortable is... this unsettled feeling. Sometimes it can be intense and unbearable like pain. Or small like an irritation.
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That is what the man in the shop said. He always tells me to pick something sweet.
[ Surprises, in her case, can be very dangerous. People have found this out in different ways, mostly the Reavers, when they pushed her in ways that she did not like.
She lets Matt explain what he means to her, and her brow furrows a little in thought. They expected them to do as they were told. To suffer without complaint. ]
They did not care about this in the place that I come from, but I will try.
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[No ominous message or resentment, not even a warning. Matt's voice stays warm and matter of fact. He suspects that there will be many moments where he will have to shelf his anger and resentment for the people Laura met before. She is not a puzzle or a problem to be solved or fixed. She is a child.
The clergy at St. Agnes would often say that Matthew was a test to them all. Perhaps he was preparing himself to be on the otherside. He gently guides them down a street once they clear the park.]
Thank you. Though think about it as helping me understand you best. How you feel, how you think, that's important to me.
[Never did they tell the children at the orphanage that they were abandoned or damaged anymore than what they were aware of. It was about building them back up. Matthew, you've got work to do. ]
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[ Laura likes how his voice sounds, the warmth to it. It makes her think of Gabriella and the other nurses. Some of the songs she would hear sung late when the doctors and the Reavers were not there to yell at them for it. ]
Why is it important? Is it a test?
[ There's a lot she doesn't understand. ]
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[Not just bodega offered foods. Maybe he can get her to enjoy strawberries and whipped cream or a frozen yogurt. Cupcakes from a local bakery. There's so much more than packaged foods.
Matt senses them approaching a crosswalk and slows. The light is red, he elbows the button to cross.]
It's important because those reactions are a part of you. You are important. Now, maybe they might have told you that you were for reasons that benefit them. Those reasons are wrong. You're important because there is only one of you. No one else in the world thinks like you do, feels like you do or acts like you do. You are your own person.
[Is he getting too deep too fast on her? These are all good questions. She needs to be reassured and Matt can tell it won't be like reassuring a typical child. Laura isn't worried about boogeymen or monsters.]
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[ She's always hungry. She'd try anything he gave her, honestly. She watches him press the button. She knows what that means at least. ]
They did not think that we were important anymore. That is why we had to run.
[ She ponders what he's saying for a few quiet moments, and sighs. She's not really sure what to do with all of this new information. ] I want to be that. My own person.
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A lot more.
[They'll try the best ones together. Not just gummie candies. Gelato. Puddings. Mochi. Waiting for the light to change he rests his cane.]
I think that you can. One day at time right? That's what you have. Do the best with one day.
[Dial it back a bit, Matty. You're starting to sound like an after school special. He pats on her arm.]
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I would like to try them!
[ Laura watches the people as they pass by in their cars, and listens to Matt. ]
I will try.
[ The light changes to walk, and once he has his cane in hand again, Laura starts to walk, careful to watch out for the cars still. ]
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And because she is by herself he has devoted off time to finding objects and activities that can stimulate her as well as teach her practical things. The modern remedy is put her in front of a screen. Well. Matt does not have a television. The laptop he does have is specially equip for him and for work. Something about that level of neglect to not even consider what media she is consuming...that feels wrong.
The month ends out with minimal damage and just one explosive fight. Their disagreements are usually a result of misunderstanding. Matt's mastery of the Spanish language is constantly put to the test as well as his patience. Though he knew that this was not going to be an easy task. Walking away from her, that would be wrong on so many levels.]
Hello?
[Stepping into the apartment, making sure to announce himself.]
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It's frustrating because there is a lot she doesn't know, and living here with Matthew comes with many more things to learn.
She has yet to explain about how she is different yet, at least not more than he has already guessed. She's not sure how to. Will it frighten him? She doesn't want him to be afraid of her. Laura had gone outside earlier with one of the books she had picked out from a store. Her English is not very good, but she is trying to learn. This book has both things. ]
I am here.
[ Said from the couch where she is sitting. Not far from her are small attempts to make a card with an apology on it. She may have borrowed the label maker to help her with the braille, and used a pencil to try and indent the paper for him.
Early on, when she was first here, he had startled her badly and then apologized. She didn't understand why it was important. She still doesn't, not fully, but if it is important to do, then she will try. Maybe it will help the funny feeling in her stomach at making him upset. ]
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How was your day today?
[Sometimes that's about the end of the language practice. As long as there's an effort. He can hear paper move. So at least she hasn't destroyed something out of anger. At least nothing as far as he can tell. Matt loosens his tie, rests the cane by the corner closest to the door.]
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It was---okay. And yours?
[ She stumbles a little over the last word in English then switches back, and while Matt is getting out of his tie, and settling in, she closes her book to put it on the coffee table. After she does that, she leans over to get the folded, colored paper that she wrote on, and hangs over the back of the couch a little. ]
This is for you.
[ Laura waves the paper a little so he can hear it better. ]
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My day was okay too.
[Complete with very adult sigh. He steps to the back of the couch and reaches for it.]
Mail?
[No. And he knows that by touching the kind of paper. It's more like construction paper. Matt holds it with one hand and has his right hand touch over the paper carefully.]
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Not mail. For you. Because of earlier.
[ She picks at the fabric at the back of the couch, and sighs. She knows her indentations were not the best, and some of them went through. It very simply spells: I'm sorry in braille.
At least, the best she could manage in it. ]
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I'm sorry too. You are trying all the time. And everybody makes mistakes. Everyone on this whole planet.
[He crouches.]
Is it okay if we talk about it?
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I do not like making them, or making you upset.
[ Not because she is scared of how he would react. But because she doesn't want to disappoint him. It's a new feeling to worry over. ]
It's okay to talk.
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[How was she supposed to know the significance of the silk robe or why it was kept tucked away in the trunk? Having any of that touched already made him go into a panic.]
Because I know now that people are looking for you, I don't think that you should go out alone. And if you do at least let me know when. If something goes wrong I can find you or be aware and help you.
[Not wanting him upset. He smiles just a little.]
I'm sorry too.
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[ She's had worse than being yelled at. She doesn't particularly understand why he should apologize for it. She had taken something that wasn't hers, does that not warrant upset? ]
I will be careful. If I go out without you, I will let you know, but I will wait if it worries you.
[ His small smile eases that feeling in her stomach again. There she goes, fiddling with a string on the edge of the sofa cushion. ]
We can still make things tonight?
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Perhaps. Not that good either.
[She is the child and Matthew is the adult. He should manage his responses better than yelling.]
Thank you. It will make me feel better knowing that you're being smart and safe. I like you, Laura. I don't want harm to come to you or for someone to take you away.
[Which is why the dread hit him so hard and fast.]
Yes. Yes we still can. Was there something you had in mind?
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People do different things when they are scared.
[ Instead of hopping off the couch and going around, Laura decides to climb over the back, and onto the hardwood floor. ]
I can do that. [ But she will not let anyone take her away from him, or hurt him. She likes staying with him. It's nice here. ]
The stir-fry you were talking about before?
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